23 Comments
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Pamela Pescosolido's avatar

Fun little story with a great ending!

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Louise Johnston's avatar

Thanks for reading it. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Laura Besley's avatar

Haha! I really enjoyed this, Louise!

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Louise Johnston's avatar

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

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AJJ's avatar

Good one 👍

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Steph P's avatar

Haha. Great title, and I enjoyed how the family dynamics evolved.

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Louise Johnston's avatar

Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it

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Lisa Johnson Mitchell's avatar

Hilarious!

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Louise Johnston's avatar

Glad it gave you a laugh. Thanks for reading.

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Neural Foundry's avatar

The FakeBird device is such a perfect narrative mechanism here. It functions as the classic eavesdropping trope but with a modern twist that feels believable in a way that, say, accidentally leaving a phone on speaker wouldn't quite land.

The pacing works really well because the escalation from innocent to catastrophic happens quickly but never feels rushed. Each line the parrot repeats digs the hole deeper. The Die Hard callback at the end ties the whole thing together without feeling forced,it's been there the whole time as background context. Nice work on keeping it light while still letting the disaster unfold naturally.

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Louise Johnston's avatar

Thanks for the lovely feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Madeleine Armstrong's avatar

This is a riot! You had me at the title, but the story more than lived up to it

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Louise Johnston's avatar

Thanks for reading, Madeleine.

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Janetplanet's avatar

Love it. Very funny. Now, where can we buy one of those parrots....?

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f.q.k.'s avatar

What a great read!

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Angela Watt's avatar

This made me laugh 😆

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Martin Wallis's avatar

Brilliant idea and a fun read! I dread to think of the family Christmas experiences that must have gone into that story!

And that parrot has a future as one of the great villains to rival Hans Gruber himself.

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Ros Johnston's avatar

Well done!! Keep going! Made me laugh. Hope there are no.parrots about this Christmas. 😄😄

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Racheal's avatar

funny🤣

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Racheal's avatar

i loved reading this. weldone

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David Johnston's avatar

Hahaha - made me smile and laugh. Do such toy parrots exist or did you invent it? If the latter you should design one, get thousands made in China and sell them for Christmas 2026!!

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LuminaryAI's avatar

Welcome to Substack!

What a hilarious and well-paced debut.

You’ve perfectly captured the chaotic 'fog' of a family Christmas

the steam in the kitchen, the passive-aggressive comments about the turkey

and the inevitable tension.

That 'FakeBird' parrot was the perfect silent witness turned whistleblower!

The ending had me laughing out loud - the timing of the Die Hard quote was

the absolute cherry on top.

I’m looking forward to more of your stories!

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