Please Tell the Moths I Love You
A Hermit Crab Fiction by Fiona Dignan
Moths and butterflies are part of the order Lepidoptera, but moths are generally nocturnal, while butterflies are diurnal.
We were moths. The unkempt sisters with holey hand-me-downs from cousins on someone’s side. Our house, brown and dusty. I was the one to stay awake every night to ensure she came home, heard her stumble to the kitchen, open the porch. I let you sleep on because I knew little children needed more sleep than big children. I imagined her down there, cigarette lit, spooling smoke into the yard, leaning her head against the doorframe. In my mind, she looked like a still from a black and white movie, her hollow face lit by the moon’s spotlight. Her short crop hair bleached white as her smoke. I would listen to her shut the door and climb the stairs to bed. I would tell you in the morning, how beautiful the moon was.
Moths have evolved intricate patterns on their wings that allow them to blend seamlessly into their surroundings as a defence mechanism against predators.
I told the class at show-and tell that we went to the cinema to see The Little Mermaid. I told Mrs Hodgson that we had roast dinner on Sunday with all the trimmings, even Yorkshire puddings and I explained that the bruise on your temple was from hitting your head on the coffee table. I told her, of course mum took you to A&E but they said there was nothing to worry about. I locked us in the bathroom when mum brought some of her friends home. Sometimes I ran a bath for us, and we pretended we were mermaids.
Hawk moths are capable of hovering in place while they feed on nectar from flowers. They are also known for their rapid and agile flight.
Once, I made you toast and watched your tubby little fingers become smeared with butter and you lick them clean. I got a pack from the corner shop when Mr. Jackson was busy. I hovered at the fridge section pretending to look at the different types of cheese. Then I tucked the butter down my tights and ran back home and told you we were going to have a proper tea party.
Some moths have developed highly sensitive hearing to evade their primary predators. They can detect ultrasonic emissions, allowing them to take evasive action.
I learnt early on to tell by her tone of voice what kind of day we were in for. When it was tight and strung like a violin, I took us out to watch the trains going under the bridge. I learnt the different knock her friends made. When certain ones came, that’s when we became mermaids.
Moths are famous for their attraction to light, including artificial lights. One theory suggests that moths use natural light sources, such as the moon, for navigation by flying at a constant angle relative to the light, which inadvertently leads them to circle artificial lights.
When I heard her come in, I sometimes crept down and watched her. Once she turned round and saw me there and she called me over and told me the moon was full that night. I think she almost said what I wanted her to say. I said it to you every single day, so at least you’d know what it’s like to be told.
One of the reasons for moth mortality is their attraction to artificial lights. This behaviour can lead to their death. Circling lights for extended periods can exhaust them, making them more vulnerable to predators.
Even though I tried, I was exhausted and I fell asleep. It was just one time. I only woke up when the policeman knocked. Mum must have left the kitchen door open. I think you just wanted to see the moon, to see if it was really as beautiful as I had told you.
This story was a finalist in the 2024 WestWord Hermit Crab Prize.
Author: Fiona Dignan writes short stories, poetry, flash and microfiction. She won The London Society poetry prize (2023), the Plaza Prize for Sudden Fiction (2023) and was a finalist in the London Independent Story Prize (2023). Recently her short story won the 2024 WestWord 1000 Word Photo competition.