Dear Ms Stringer
I write in my capacity as Complaints Officer, Utopia Plus Pty Ltd (Trading as Trevor’s Timepieces). The Store Manager indicated you are barking mad expressed concern because your Santorini Sun timepiece is not fully automatic. You also asked ad nauseum to speak with imbecile Trevor. As my colleague explained, Trevor’s Timepieces is a company name only. Rather than “Trevor” being too “gutless” to come out and face you, I can assure you, Trevor simply doesn’t exist.
As our budget-friendly range, Santorini Sun timepieces are priced from $20. Our battery-free range, E-Motion, starts at $325. If you would like to return your cheap and nasty timepiece, I can organise a refund. Alternatively, the original purchase price could be deducted from an E-Motion upgrade.
To discuss these options Karen, please feel free to ask someone who cares contact me on 1800 393 624.
Yours sincerely
M. Bezel
Fiona Lynch is an Australian writer whose flash was shortlisted in the Bridport Prize, Bath Flash Fiction Award & Lucent Dreaming. In 2023, she won the Fractured Lit Winter Flash Challenge. Fiona’s flash is published in Reflex Press & Heroines and she is working on her first hybrid collection. T@FionaLynchWrite
This story was shortlisted in the March 24 Monthly Micro Competition.